Independence Day! Americans are awesome/dicks. In other news, water is wet.

Watching the History Channel's "The Revolution" last night on the tivobox with Mom 'n Dad, and I noticed something that I think I must have learned in AP American History but never really thought about:The Patriots were dicks.
They pulled off some really awesome stuff in creating a country like nothing anyone had ever seen before, but also, dicks.
Sure, the British did their share of stupid stuff, like thinking that clamping down with martial law was the way to shut down a burgeoning rebellion, but y'know, we started it.
Why, you say?
Well, the Revolution was started over the Stamp Act, which you probably learned about. Parliament said that we had to buy a stamp to go on, like, every piece of paper we had - I think the show put it as "everything from legal documents to playing cards".
But here's the part that gets me. You probably learned about this as just another obnoxious Parliament thinking they could squeeze the colonies for no reason thing, an affront to liberty, etc. But what the Stamp Act Tax was meant to pay for was the Seven Years' War, which in our part of the world was known as the French and Indian War.
The British sent troops to defend the colonies against attack. And won. But it cost something like 40 million pounds, in 1700s money. Parliament set up the Stamp Act to try to get the colonies to help cover some of the debt they'd incurred.
Yup, the Revolution was started by people who expected their government to give them stuff without them having to pay for it. They don't call them Republicans for nothing, amirite?
The patriots believed in free speech, and exercised it by destroying the printing presses used by people who disagreed with them. 
And the Boston Massacre. Oh, man. A bunch of people start a riot, try to kill some soldiers with rocks, the soldiers freak, and some people are killed by muskets not even aimed at them, and somehow this is the soldiers' fault. But you know what's awesome? I didn't know this - John Adams was their lawyer, and saved them all from being executed. He thought that it was important that the patriots not lose sight of basic rights, even if they were for British soldiers.
Anyway, this all just snowballed into some actual fair grievances, which the British just kept slapping down instead of dealing with, and these dicks went on to become some of the most impressive statesmen in history, and rightfully so, considering all they managed to do.

So I say Happy Birthday, America! Hold your head high and say, "We're dicks! And that's awesome!"

Everyone fill out your census! Otherwise you might lose a Congresscritter. Too bad we can't 'lose' Bachmann - oops, she must've fallen behind the couch!

Got a call from the GOP nat'l committee Friday while I was out. Just registered my DL in MN in Jan. So desperate they're on new people like me on mac n cheese.

There were a surprising amount of Pentecostals in the Quad Cities.

Something that bugs me just a bit, as someone with long hair (at the moment) - the (Christian at least) groups that want their women to cover their hair or always wear it up, don't allow them to just cut it off and solve the 'angels will want to bone you' problem that way.
Sorry, Pentecostals. You fail at hair. Also, logic.

Jim Croce only really has one song anyway.

You know, in "You Don't Mess Around with Jim", he says, "You don't tug on Superman's cape" as part of a list of things you don't do because something bad will happen to you. But if you did tug on Superman's cape, he'd just be like, "hey, cut it out". Because he's Superman.

Famous People I Want to Punch in the Face: A New Philosophizer Feature

Well, not really new, per se - Kelis was our first installment - but I've decided that such a rich topic deserves more attention.

Anyway, today's famous person I want to punch in the face: Taylor Swift.

Just listen to her song "You Belong With Me".



All about how she's a nerdy girl in love with her best friend, who loves a cheerleader and never sees her.
"She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers..."
Oh, please. Taylor Swift, you are a beautiful blond princess who I'm certain has never been overlooked by a boy you wanted, ever. Just for once, can't you let an actual nerdy girl make it big with this song, instead of being all "poor me, I'm just not hot enough *tosses blond hair as boys do your bidding*"
Give me a fuckin' break. From all the girls out there who actually do have this problem: shut the hell up, cheerleader.

Also, "Love Story". Good for you, I'm proud you successfully passed sophomore English. You are not Romeo and Juliet, nor are you Hester Prynne. Your teenage love is not difficult and tortured and you are not a special snowflake just because Dad doesn't like your boyfriend. I liked this song a lot better when I thought the chorus said "This love is *typical*, but it's real..."
You are not special. Every teenager thinks this. It's a cliche for a reason.

In short, punch in the face.

Been a long time.

So here are pictures of cats.

This is Loki Tiberius Cat.


And this is Harvey Charlene Dent Cat.


They're fuzzy.

Argh, hiding things on your website

I tried and tried and couldn't find a place on Amazon.com to send in suggestions. And I have several; maybe if I put them here someone will find them!

• in the search-narrowing items, make it so you can also use them to eliminate categories (for example, I was just searching for a new 2.5" hard drive, and I would've liked to be able to eliminate everything smaller than I want, without having to rule out a good deal on something bigger than I expected.)
• have a way to sort by, or only show, things that are eligible for Super Saver shipping.
• as a corollary, sort by lowest price including shipping.
• improve category tagging - this is something that drives me batty about eBay as well. Hard drive enclosures should not be listed under 'internal hard drives'. I know sellers set those, but maybe there could be some kind of system where users could suggest proper tagging, or note items that don't belong in a category?

Thoughts?

Pardon me, sir, but I appear to be haX0ring ur network

Yesterday I identified a strange overlap between two fields I never expected to have any commonality - table manners, especially traditional Continental styles, and being a geek. Two unrelated fields, both of which - get this - will train you to be able to eat with a fork in your left hand. Continental manners dictate that you not swap your fork back into your right hand after cutting food on your plate; most people write and mouse with their right hand. So, I realized that my high school French Club dinner training meant that I could eat and do a puzzle or work online at the same time. I'm sure mes profs have all suddenly felt a strange chill go down their spines just now.

"It's too late, Elliot - he's already gone."

Barack Obama ponders Floating Head President?

Just because you have a uterus doesn't mean you have to use it.

As promised over at Dubito, here's my crude attempt at a bumper sticker in response to those cutesy ones with a baby on them that say, "I'm a child, not a choice!"

Now, I don't have any problem at all with women who choose to incubate offspring - some illogical part of my brain figures that other people having children means I don't have to - but even if you do have kids, you are more than your uterus. And I think that's something everyone (or at least everyone who doesn't hate women) can get behind.

If anyone likes this, feel free to use it, but it would rock my world if you credit me. And if you make money off it, I want a cut :)

Other uses for hair gel?

So I've acquired several bottles of hair gel. I don't use gel, and Jon will only use a very specific kind, of which these are not. Any ideas as to what non-hair use I could put it to?

Alternatively, if someone wants a crapload of gel, drop me a line and I'll send it all to you.

Actually, now that I'm on the subject, what should I do with a bunch of eyeshadow and lipstick I'm not going to use on my face? They've all been used at least once, and none of them are fancy brands, so I doubt anyone would want them, but I'd prefer not to just pitch it all. Thoughts?

'Recycle' or Reuse?

So, I've had this question floating around my head for, like, forever.
Is it better/more ethical to modify a possession you have to make it more useful/pleasing to you, or to donate it to charity? (For example, reconstructing t-shirts vs. giving them to Goodwill.)

I'm having trouble deciding.

• I need to pare down, but I don't want to get rid of things that I could use and then find myself replacing them in a few months.
• I don't get a tax break for donations, but my mom and dad do, so I give them my stuff to donate along with theirs, but we're not talking anything more valuable than a few old cotton sweaters and t-shirts.
• I want to alter some clothes to make them more like things I like (v-necks instead of crews, for example), but I'd hate to cut them all up and then decide I don't like them, but now they're not good enough to donate.

I'm overthinking this, so I decided to post it and let you do the work instead!
(I also emailed it to Unclutterer.com, so if I hear anything from them, I'll post/link it.)

Philosophizer and Thomas Dubya Hobbes Present: Loliticians!

Rudy Giuliani spent $50 million to win one delegate, then promptly dropped out of the race.

Global warming is in ur jetstream, fuX0r1ng ur weathers

So in the last month we've had three instances of temperature shifts between low-40s and single digits in a span of less than 36 hours. And if I hear one more person say "hurr hurr I guess that shows those climate scientists a thing or two", I will KILL. Because seriously, you shouldn't speak about things you don't understand. This weather is evidence of global warming - it makes every kind of weather more extreme and variable. Summers are hotter, winters are colder, droughts are drier, monsoon rains are wetter, hurricanes, tornadoes, and thunderstorms are stronger and more dangerous.

So, science. Get some.

Countdown to idiot MRAs thinking this is real and/or a good idea starts now

Onion: Man Finally Put in Charge of Feminist Movement
I love the part where he shatters the glass ceiling by 'making some calls to the big boys at the top'.

Friday Random Ten: Are My Ovaries Exploding Edition

1. Soulja Boy gets to be number one because he was performing here last weekend. Jon explained to me that to "Roosevelt that ho" means to attempt to pack the Supreme Court so they stop striking down your shit.
2. Ookla the Mok - Baby's Head (baby's got a soft spot)
3. ABBA - Fernando
4. Ben Folds - Such Great Heights
5. Eric Johnson - Cliffs of Dover
6. Thurl Ravenscroft and Dr. Seuss - You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
7. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby
8. DMX - Party Up - which, by the way, the three simultaneously most terrifying and most awesome words are "DMX Christmas album"
9. Like 12 versions of my favorite Christmas carol, Do You Hear What I Hear
10. The National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation theme

Also, my ovaries are not exploding. At least, not any more than usual. Thank you for asking.

I so called this.

I just saw a Hillary Clinton ad featuring Wesley Clark. VP anyone?


Also, the calling her by her first name vs. last name for Obama. I thought about it and realized that, yes, I call her Hillary and him Obama, but I say:

• Rudy
• John McCain and John Edwards
• "Who?" (Chris Dodd)
  
• the crazy magnet and the gnome (Paul and Kucinich - who Jon calls 'the Kooch')
• Alan "I'm blacker than you" Keyes
  
• Mitt-Mitt - which is almost always preceded by the phrase 'shut your hole'. Eventually I think my brain's going to just assume that "Shut Your Hole Mitt-Mitt" is his actual name.

edited 2/8/2008 to add: after Super Tuesday, Republicans are now reduced to a choice between Walnuts and Fuckabee. I just like saying that one. Give it a try - Fuckabee. FUCKABEE!

Friday Random Ten: Christmas Shouldn't Start in November Edition

Seriously. I spent yesterday and today, and will likely spend Sunday, decorating the store* for Christmas. (Well, I spent yesterday and this morning decorating, and this afternoon helping someone else change everything to the way she wanted it (which is fine, I just wish I'd known she had strong opinions before I started), but same thing.)

*yes, right now I work in a store. I'm on leave from the IT job, just so you know I'm actually trying and not giving up and settling for a life in retail.

1. Offspring - Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)
2. Weird Al - Weird Al Show Theme
3. The Coral - Dreaming of You
4. Shocking Blue - Venus
5. Weird Al - I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead
6. Neil Diamond - Cracklin' Rosie
7. Killers - Somebody Told Me
8. Doors - Touch Me
9. Rolling Stones - Shattered
10. Soulja Boy - Crank That (only because Jon was going to do the Soulja Boy dance for me)

Underneath it all, apparently I'm eight years old.

I laughed for a minute straight when I saw this.

It doesn't hurt that this belongs to a former client of my company's who refused to pay us because 'they didn't feel like it'.