Monday, July 27, 2009

Famous People I Want to Punch in the Face: A New Philosophizer Feature

Well, not really new, per se - Kelis was our first installment - but I've decided that such a rich topic deserves more attention.

Anyway, today's famous person I want to punch in the face: Taylor Swift.

Just listen to her song "You Belong With Me".

All about how she's a nerdy girl in love with her best friend, who loves a cheerleader and never sees her.
"She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers..."
Oh, please. Taylor Swift, you are a beautiful blond princess who I'm certain has never been overlooked by a boy you wanted, ever. Just for once, can't you let an actual nerdy girl make it big with this song, instead of being all "poor me, I'm just not hot enough *tosses blond hair as boys do your bidding*"
Give me a fuckin' break. From all the girls out there who actually do have this problem: shut the hell up, cheerleader.

Also, "Love Story". Good for you, I'm proud you successfully passed sophomore English. You are not Romeo and Juliet, nor are you Hester Prynne. Your teenage love is not difficult and tortured and you are not a special snowflake just because Dad doesn't like your boyfriend. I liked this song a lot better when I thought the chorus said "This love is *typical*, but it's real..."
You are not special. Every teenager thinks this. It's a cliche for a reason.

In short, punch in the face.

1 comment:

  1. I'm fully convinced that "You Belong With Me" is sung by a stalker to a guy tied up in a chair. "Standing by, waiting at your back door"? Yeah, waiting with chloroform. And I have the feeling that the "wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time" is literal--as in "wake up at 3 AM and find that I've been standing at the foot of your bed watching you this whole time."

    That song out-creepies "Every Step You Take."