Thursday, December 06, 2007

Countdown to idiot MRAs thinking this is real and/or a good idea starts now

Onion: Man Finally Put in Charge of Feminist Movement
I love the part where he shatters the glass ceiling by 'making some calls to the big boys at the top'.

Friday Random Ten: Are My Ovaries Exploding Edition

  1. Soulja Boy gets to be number one because he was performing here last weekend. Jon explained to me that to "Roosevelt that ho" means to attempt to pack the Supreme Court so they stop striking down your shit.
  2. Ookla the Mok - Baby's Head (baby's got a soft spot)
  3. ABBA - Fernando
  4. Ben Folds - Such Great Heights
  5. Eric Johnson - Cliffs of Dover
  6. Thurl Ravenscroft and Dr. Seuss - You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch
  7. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby
  8. DMX - Party Up - which, by the way, the three simultaneously most terrifying and most awesome words are "DMX Christmas album"
  9. Like 12 versions of my favorite Christmas carol, Do You Hear What I Hear
  10. The National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation theme

Also, my ovaries are not exploding. At least, not any more than usual. Thank you for asking.

I so called this.

I just saw a Hillary Clinton ad featuring Wesley Clark. VP anyone?

Also, the calling her by her first name vs. last name for Obama. I thought about it and realized that, yes, I call her Hillary and him Obama, but I say:
  • Rudy
  • John McCain and John Edwards
  • "Who?" (Chris Dodd)
  • the crazy magnet and the gnome (Paul and Kucinich - who Jon calls 'the Kooch')
  • Alan "I'm blacker than you" Keyes
  • Mitt-Mitt - which is almost always preceded by the phrase 'shut your hole'. Eventually I think my brain's going to just assume that "Shut Your Hole Mitt-Mitt" is his actual name.
edited 2/8/2008 to add: after Super Tuesday, Republicans are now reduced to a choice between Walnuts and Fuckabee. I just like saying that one. Give it a try - Fuckabee. FUCKABEE!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Friday Random Ten: Christmas Shouldn't Start in November Edition

Seriously. I spent yesterday and today, and will likely spend Sunday, decorating the store* for Christmas. (Well, I spent yesterday and this morning decorating, and this afternoon helping someone else change everything to the way she wanted it (which is fine, I just wish I'd known she had strong opinions before I started), but same thing.)

*yes, right now I work in a store. I'm on leave from the IT job, just so you know I'm actually trying and not giving up and settling for a life in retail.

  1. Offspring - Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)
  2. Weird Al - Weird Al Show Theme
  3. The Coral - Dreaming of You
  4. Shocking Blue - Venus
  5. Weird Al - I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead
  6. Neil Diamond - Cracklin' Rosie
  7. Killers - Somebody Told Me
  8. Doors - Touch Me
  9. Rolling Stones - Shattered
  10. Soulja Boy - Crank That (only because Jon was going to do the Soulja Boy dance for me)

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Underneath it all, apparently I'm eight years old.

I laughed for a minute straight when I saw this.

It doesn't hurt that this belongs to a former client of my company's who refused to pay us because 'they didn't feel like it'.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Oh my god, sheep is driving! How can this be?

Car full of Kiwis!

Dang, it's been a long time since I posted anything.
So "Black Sheep" is a horror comedy in the style of "Shaun of the Dead". It's set in beautiful New Zealand and is awesome. Sounds like actual New Zealand actors in it, too. Sheep eat people. It's great. Hopefully we'll have a review up at Movies Schmovies soon, but Tom had to spend his evening figuring out how to teach high school sophomores about logical fallacies without offending anyone. So yeah. Go rent it.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Friday Random Ten on Saturday: Missing the Point Edition

So I love the concept of the FRT, but since I rarely listen to music during the week, and usually carry around a limited playlist that I listen to obsessively until I scrap the whole thing and start fresh, it's hard. But in the spirit of the FRT, instead this week I give you:

The best concerts that never happened....
  1. Earth, Wind & Fire, Aqua, and Heart - the Captain Planet tour
  2. Snoop Dogg, Lil' Bow Wow, Bow Wow Wow, and Seal - the Things that Bark tour
  3. Grand Funk Railroad, Chicago, Jefferson Airplane, and the Cars - the Transportation tour (Chicago started out as The Chicago Transit Authority)
  4. Fountains of Wayne and Garth Brooks - the Schwing! tour
  5. Pink Floyd, Jethro Tull, Molly Hatchet, and Alice Cooper (though he has to open, since he doesn't quite fit anymore) - the No Such Person tour (alternatively, if you want to get obscure, the Gravy Train tour - "And by the way, which one's Pink?")
OK, that's a good start. Share yours, and let me know if you've heard of any band/musician with the name Anne/Ann or Emily in their name, because I want to put them with Good Charlotte as the Bronte Sisters tour.

How dare they have my idea first!

D. Simpson of I Drew This did my Republican Opposite Day joke back in 2004.

I swear, I just now, today, was introduced to this comic. I love it. But I swear I didn't steal the joke.


Friday, June 01, 2007

Friday Random Ten: Fergalicious Edition

What the hell is "floxy"? I know I'm not the only one who hears it.

Is it this?

Or this?

Or this?

Or maybe even this?

Anyway, the ten:

  1. Ben Folds - Rent-a-Cop
  2. Neil Young - Heart of Gold
  3. Beatles - Hey Bulldog
  4. Paul McCartney and Wings - Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey
  5. Donovan - Sunshine Superman
  6. Led Zeppelin - Misty Mountain Hop
  7. Ringo Starr - Back Off Boogaloo
  8. George Harrison - When We Was Fab
  9. Who - Join Together
  10. Peter, Paul, & Mary - If I Had a Hammer
Bonus of Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street. I didn't actually listen to this, but I talked about it with my boss today.

omg i can has lols!

OK, go here, then go to all the wonderful lolsites. Highlights include:






more Presidents

of course, this assumes that you already go to I Can Has Cheezburger?

you do, right?

you better if you know what's good for you....

that being, lolcats!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Friday Random Ten: Eating Waffles Edition

  1. Bangles - Different Light
  2. Fatboy Slim - Praise You
  3. Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train
  4. Rob Paravonian - Pachelbel
  5. Ben Folds - Underground
  6. U2 - Discotheque
  7. White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
  8. Alice Cooper - School's Out
  9. Timbuk 3 - My Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)
  10. Escape Club - Wild Wild West
  11. Ben Folds - Rockin' the Suburbs - Shake your booty while the band complains...... - yes, I loves me some Ben Folds. I got to see him in concert. That was a fun 2 days - I drove 2 1/2 hours after work to see him at a college and got back home at god-knows-when in the morning to get up the next day at 7:30 to go to work, then that night saw Eric Clapton - fortunately he was playing 5 minutes from my house.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

How could this not be the best thing evar?

A webcomic about the adventures of a doctor who is also a ninja.

Seriously. Dr. McNinja. Admittedly I've only read one story arc*, but the concept alone spells awesome.

*A shadowy nemesis unmasks himself to reveal that he has a secret weapon against the doctor - he's a kid with terminal cancer, so the doctor can't in good conscience defeat him. So the doc cures his cancer instead.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I want to punch Kelis in the face

The finger cymbals! They hit in the wrong places! ARGGGH!

Sure, she could be deliberately violating the conventions of music, but judging by the normalcy of the rest of the song, I think not.

Edited on July 7, 2007: I've identified that it's possible that the hits are evenly spaced, but simply out of phase with the music - like, they take place in multiples of something that's not divisible by the 4/4 meter of the rest of the song. It sounds like they happen a measure later each time the chorus cycles through. This does not reduce my desire to punch Kelis in the face.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

OMG open source software is for COMMIEZ!1!

I'm just waiting to hear it. 'It's PATRIOTIC to only use software you had to pay for! Linux is treason! Why do you hate AMERICA?!'*

What the hell am I talking about? Go here.

*Note: I know approximately jack about Linux and work for a tech company that's a Microsoft partner. But aside from that we're all about the free stuff.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Friday Random Ten: A Week Behind Edition

I totally wish I could use moving as an excuse for missing last week, especially since I had my list all ready and just didn't take the time to post it, but that's this week. Here's what I heard on the radio last week:
  1. Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane
  2. Patty Smyth - Goodbye to You (I think.)
  3. Van Halen - Beautiful Girls
  4. Black Crowes - Hard To Handle
  5. Gwen Stefani - Wind it Up
  6. Van Halen - Dance the Night Away
  7. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me
  8. THE COOG! - Jack and Diane
  9. INXS - New Sensation
  10. BTO - Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet
So the odd one out is Gwen. I was in Old Navy, and I realized two things. One, Gwen's latest work and Fergie's stuff are the Pixi Sticks of music - tasty, but without substance, not very good for you, and some people are allergic to them.

Two, what the hell, Old Navy? Who told you you were allowed to do that to fashion?! I had a gift certificate, and I used it on the one sweater that wasn't either expensive, god-awful, or both, and some plain socks. Formal capris, '70s upholstery prints, and maternity-looking tunics are Not. Ok. Just no.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Friday Random Ten: Working Ahead Edition

Wednesday's driving all over town list (yes, I kept track, so I'd be prepared for today's post!):
  1. Outkast - Hey Ya
  2. Bowling for Soup - 1985
  3. Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
  4. Golden Earring - Twilight Zone
  5. Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax
  6. Collective Soul - Shine
  7. Genesis - I Can't Dance
  8. Duran Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf
  9. Heart - Barracuda
  10. Jethro Tull - Aqualung
  11. Killers - Somebody Told Me
  12. ELO - Don't Bring Me Down
  13. Haddaway - What Is Love?
  14. Gerry Rafferty - Right Down the Line
I also listened to, among other things, Rock Flock of Five[edited to add, apparently it's the George Baker Selection?] - Little Green Bag from the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack, today.

And I was listening to 311 today, and it maked me think of my first CD purchases.

My first CD (not album - I owned some cassettes, naturally, I'm not that young) was Ace of Base "The Sign".

You may boo me now.

I still own it, and listen to it on driving trips.

I kind of made up for it as my next two were Sgt. Pepper and the Magical Mystery Tour, bought at the same time. After that, it was 311, Garbage, and Soundgarden (all self-titled).

How about you, my three readers? What were the first music purchases you made? I'm also curious about, specifically, the first thing you bought when you switched over to the 'new technology', whatever that was in your youth. (i.e., I switched to CDs in middle school with Ace of Base, my brother went over to mp3s in high school, my mom and dad went from records to cassettes in college.)

Ooh, and what was the first mp3 you remember searching for? I seem to think mine might have been Genesis - I Can't Dance, since I could only find the live version on albums at the time.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Addendum to FRT: Alligator Edition

I realized I never actually explained I Write Puns Not Alligators. So mentally add this on after the last sentence of that post (I don't like editing after this long, and besides, postwhoring.)

So that kid would make lists of not-actually-synonyms, right? And one day we were talking about him and Tom (who was his editor at the paper) says, during an imitation of him, "See, it's a pun! A funny play on words! An alligator!"

....Maybe you had to be there, but if you know Tom (go read him, he's in my sidebar at the Fortress), you should be able to picture the hilarity.

Political Musings: found draft!

I wrote this in November and forgot about it because it was so tiny. But I like it. So you get it anyway.

Nixon's Committee to Re-Elect the President. Abbreviated CREEP. Now, he was a clever man - he had to have known. I wonder if the acronym amused him.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Friday Random Ten: How can a 30-hour work week feel like too much? Edition

And the sad thing is, I love my work.

I seriously need to start posting all the stuff I think about posting. Dang. And get that HUHO post out of draft.

This list is mostly populated by the stuff that played on the radio at the client I was working on today.
  1. Guns 'n Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
  2. Genesis - Tonight
  3. INXS - What You Need
  4. Divinyls - I Touch Myself (in techno!)
  5. Grateful Dead - Truckin'
  6. Human League - Don't You Want Me?
  7. David Bowie and Mick Jagger - Dancing in the Street
  8. Chipmunks - P.S. I Love You (Jon is a sick individual and has been playing Chipmunks Sing the Beatles in the car.)
  9. Some girls at Applebee's - Video Killed the Radio Star (they were singing along with the ipod they were sharing the headphones to - all of a sudden I hear "Oh, oh!" in the middle of lunch.)
  10. Panic at the Disco - I Write Sins Not Allegories .....
At my house, this is called I Write Puns Not Alligators because of a horrible emo-y writer we know. He had a tendency to put together lists of things that were all supposed to be synonymous and, well, weren't. (Example being putting "making out" as a synonym for "going all the way" and [ugh] "proving our love".) He also was a hateful man who hated fun. And despite the awesome name, Panic at the Disco, especially this song, sounds exactly like him.

And I don't like all this responsibility stuff. Working, keeping up with even a weekly post (though I do struggle with the FRT because even when I do listen to music, it tends to be the same things over and over for quite a while, then I scrap the whole list after a few weeks or months and start again, so I have to scrounge for things to put on my list.)

God, loser!

But Loki is chasing a toymouse around like mad, and that's cheering me up.